


harry // l.s.

by jalex_larry_what



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Dead Harry, Gay, M/M, Sad, Sad Louis, larry - Freeform, larry sad, larry stylinson - Freeform, stylinson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-24
Updated: 2014-05-24
Packaged: 2018-01-26 08:39:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1681997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jalex_larry_what/pseuds/jalex_larry_what
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis' first interview after losing Harry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	harry // l.s.

_"Haha, Louis, you can't catch me!" Louis had no idea where Harry's voice was coming from, so he simply giggled._

 

_"Louis, help me, please!" his best friend sounded panicked, pleading, "Lo-Louis, please, I don't wanna die."_

 

_The scene had changed from Harry and Louis in the woods to one of a dark surrounding, black brick walls boxed Louis in, and the silhouette of his boyfriends curly head and slim frame made Louis frightened. He pulled out his phone, it was dead. Fuck, and Harry's was at the apartment._

 

_"Lou, pl-ease," Harry choked out, "tell the boys, t-tell them I love them." Harry slumped against them, and Louis dashed over to where his boyfriend should've been. Where had he gone?_

 

_"HARRY? Harry, please this isn't funny!" tears pooled in the cerulean eyes and he spun around, hearing a whimper behind him. Louis voice broke off as the first sob tore through his body and his heart shattered at the sight in front of him._

 

_Harry sat against the wall, a 6" kitchen knife lodged into his stomach. Harry whined, blood dribbling from his lips, wincing in pain._

 

_"I love you, Louis" Harry stammered out, blood spilling from his mouth at the same time, "more than I should. It's path-pathetic really," he c oughed up some more blood, "I should've told you earlier. Sorry about that. I wanted to grow old with you, Louis. To get married to you, but here am I, dy-dying, with a knife in my tummy. How, strange? No, Louis" he gargled and choked on the blood, which was now mixed with tears, both from Louis and he, "don't cry. Just kiss me, my dying wish was always going to be for you to kiss me. Just please, Louis."_

 

_Louis didn't need to be told twice. He gently reached forward shaking, and took Harry's ghostly face into his hands, bringing his lips forward and touching them to the curly lad's. They both leaned into the kiss, and they fit so perfectly that Louis was sure that he never wanted to kiss anyone elses lips. Ever._

 

_Both men pulled away at the same time, blood staining their lips. Harry sighed contentedly, eyes fluttering shut, and Louis let out a wretched sob._

 

_"L-Lou. Look at me," Harry tilted Louis' chin up, just enough to meet his eyes, "please, can you be my boyfriend? Just please, I know I already asked for a kiss, but-"_

 

_"Harry stop wasting your breath, I'll be your boyfriend. It's what I've always wanted. Fuck, I'm such an idiot. I never expected you to feel the same way. I'm so sorry. I love you so much, so much." Louis pulled Harry's head down so he could push his lips onto the pale forehead._

 

_"Louis..." the life in Harry's eyes started to fade and Louis couldn't stop the sobs that wrenched from his body and tears that fell down his face._

 

_"No, no, Harry, please, please" now it was Louis who was pleading, "stay with me, I love you."_

 

_"Louis," Harry croaked out, a flow of blood erupting from his bow lips," I love you"_

 

_Louis screamed in agony, as Harry's eyes faded out, and his hand under Louis' chin fell back to his lap. His entire body went limp, and he breathed his last breath, a misty cloud coming out with it._

 

_"I love you."_

 

_\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

 

Louis jerked awake from his nightmare. He found it very fucking shit that he should have to re-live his boyfriends death in his sleep. It was the only place where he could escape from cold, harsh reality. He whimpered slightly.

 

_Harry, why can't you just be beside me?_

 

He glanced over to the clock next to the collage of Harry photos. 

 

4:47am. 

 

Well there was no point trying to get back to sleep if he was going to be woken up in 13 minutes anyway, he and the other boys had an interview at stupid-o-clock, so Louis just sat up and shivered, grumbling something about how if Harry was here, this would be a lot more acceptable, and he would be somewhat warmer.

 

A lump rose in his throat.  _Harry._

 

A knock sounded at Louis' door and Zayn poked his head around the door.

 

"Lou, we need to be at Teasdale's workshop by 6. Sorry mate." Louis nodded and Zayn retracted his head, closing the door quietly.

 

Louis sighed and pushed himself off the bed. His and Harry's bed.

 

Louis walked to the chest of drawers by the window, not even phased in the slightest about how dark it was outside. All he knew is that if Harry was there, it wouldn't be so dark. Harry was his sunshine.

 

_I miss you, Harry._

 

With a groan, he bent over and pulled a pair of tight black skinny jeans out of the bottom drawer. Harry always said he looked best in them.

 

Not bothering to change his underwear from yesterday, Louis slipped the jeans on and did up the zip and button.

 

Rummaging through the second drawer he found a black fox-hair sweater. He held it up to the window and smiled. Harry used to borrow it all the time and Louis truly believed it looked better on the taller lad.

 

Pulling the sweater roughly over his head, Louis tried to fix his feathery hair. Harry had said he'd liked it best messy though, so he left it alone and headed out the bedroom door. 

 

Padding into the loungeroom, he picked up his phone, car-keys and Gucci wallet off the table, lighting up his lock screen to see his pretty boyfriend.

 

_I miss your smile, Harry._

 

The screen read 5:15, so Louis decided the other boys could sort themselves out for breakfast. He'd pick up some McDonalds for himself from his and Harry's  favourite branch.

 

He trotted out the door and left the apartment, quietly closing said door behind him. He clumsily stepped down the long staircase leading to the foyer skipping a few. His and Harry's favourite game used to be seeing who could skip the most stairs at each landing. 

 

Starting the engine to his BMW, he rolled out of the complex and drove in the direction of the Teasdale's complex. 

 

_I miss our car drives together, Harry._

 

He pulled into the McDonalds drive-thru and ordered a bacon and egg McMuffin with two hash browns and an orange juice, remembering that's what Harry always used to order. 

 

He thanked the kind lady (who seemed to want nothing more than to get back into her bed), and drove across to the park on the other side of the road.

 

People were already out for their morning jog and Louis grinned slightly at the memory of he and Harry trying that one morning, of course being unsuccessful due to the amount of early bird fans.

 

5:30. 

 

Louis finished his food, restarting his car and pulling out of the parking lot. He'd be a little early, but that shouldn't matter. 

 

He turned the heater on in his car because he was fucking cold and bored, wishing his boyfriend was there to crack cheesy jokes and piss him off.

 

_I miss your fucking terrible jokes, Harry._

 

He had been driving for about 15 minutes now, in silence. He was too afraid to turn the radio on in case a song that he and Harry used to sing came on. He was really the only one on the roads and fuck did he wish that Harry was there, so he wouldn't be so lonely.

 

Louis was entering the suburb that the Teasdale's lived in now, and he remembered how everytime he came here with Harry they would pick out their favourite houses.

 

A lump formed in his throat, for the second time that morning, and this time it was harder to force it down. He wished Harry was here to kiss him.

 

He got out of the car, balling his fists in his sweater, because really, it was fucking freezing and Harry wasn't there to hold his hands and keep them warm.

 

He thought he really should've brought a jacket, one of Harry's jackets. They were big and warm and they smelled of Harry.

 

He knocked softly on Lou and Tom's door. 5:49. 

 

Louise answered the door, a soft smile on her face.

 

"Come in, Louis." 

 

He waited for her to say Harry's name like she used to, but it never came.

 

He walked through the threshold, looking at the modernly framed pictures on the walls. 

 

He padded into the kitchen and Lou asked him if he'd like a cup of tea. He replied with a no thanks, because he only ever let Harry make him tea.

 

_I miss the tea you used to make me, Harry._

 

"Uh, Lou" Louis spoke up nervously, "I really only need my make up done today. Harry always said I looked best like I do now."

 

Lou looked at him sadly and muttered softly, "Ok, love."

 

*

 

Louis sat down in one of Lou's comfortable styling chairs. 

 

He wished that Harry was still sitting in the one next to him.

 

When Louis was all made over, he turned to ask Harry what he thought, his shoulders slumping when Harry wasn't there.

 

_I miss your silly opinions, Harry._

 

*

 

They were all squashed in the one car, Louis in the middle of Zayn and Liam, Niall in shotgun and Paul driving. 

 

Louis sat with his earbuds in, listening to the playlist Harry had made him.

 

He had realised most of the songs were by Arctic Monkeys, and he sighed. Harry really liked Arctic Monkeys.

 

He hoped that wherever Harry was now, was better than this filthy shithole world, and that he was still singing along to I Wanna Be Yours like he always used to.

 

He just wanted his boyfriend to be happy.

 

*

 

They all climbed out of the car, yawning, stretching, grumbling.

 

The interview building was a dull grey, perfectly equivalent to Louis' mood. He wished Harry was here to make his mood brighter.

 

They all sat down on a red sofa, Louis insisting that there needed to be a space where Harry would sit, next to him.

 

_I miss having you next to me, Harry._

 

The interviewer introduced herself as Emily or something like that. He wished Harry was there to remind him.

 

By the time the interview had started, it was 8am. This would be around the time where Harry would make them pancakes and cold cocoa for breakfast.

 

"So, Louis, how are you dealing with Harry's death?" the interviewer asked, and Louis knew she was being sympathetic but the question caught him so off-guard that tears immediately sprung to his eyes.

 

He could feel the other boys' eyes on him warily. He wished Harry would soothe him.

 

"Not too well" he replied honestly. What was he meant to say? He wished Harry was there to help.

 

"I can imagine. You must miss him a lot."

 

And Louis nearly scoffed because that was a fucking understatement.

 

_He was empty without Harry._

 

Instead, he just nodded, eyes to the floor.

 

"Do you want to tell us anything, Louis?" she asked him softly. 

 

It was now or never, he had to tell the world someday.

 

_I miss everything about you Harry._

 

He took a deep breath.

 

"Everyday. _Everyday,_  I wake up, after re-living his death in my sleep. And I look around me. I think, 'where's Harry?'. I picture his smile. I expect him to be sitting in the kitchen. Or making me pancakes. Or jumping on my bed. Or crooning, with his sappy love shit. There was rarely a night Harry and I didn't spend together. He was - is my everything. This pain," he sucked in a deep breath, trying to keep the tears at bay, "it's unbearable. I feel like I just want to give up. He died in my arms. I'll never forget - never, the last thing he did... the last thing," he had to force the sob back down, because that would be even more embarrassing than the tears already beginning their journey, "he asked me to be his boyfriend."

 

The crowd gasped and the interviewers mouth hit the floor. 

 

The boys didn't look surprised in the slightest, and they also had tears crawling down their faces.

 

"I, I said yes. Of course I did, I've loved Harry since the moment I met him and I," he took a moment to gather himself, pretending Harry was right beside him, egging him on, "I took every moment for-granted. I regret it so much. Oh, he'd already asked me to kiss him. And he thought he was asking too much! He was so silly. So, I leaned down and kissed him through the blood and the tears. I know now, I am so sure I never want to kiss anyone else again, I just want Harry," and Louis broke, because it was all too much for his poor heart and he felt someone's arms wrap around him, but it meant nothing, because they weren't Harry's arms, "I always will."

 

He tried to continue. He really did, but he was sobbing far too hard for any words to make their way out.

 

This world was a torturous hellhole and Louis  _just wanted Harry back._

 

"What's the thing, you regret most, about Harry dying so young?" the interviewer pressed, seemingly wanting to milk his boyfriend's death as much as she could.

 

Louis humourlessly chuckled.

 

He'd had this answer prepared. 

 

"The fact that we never got the chance to come out as a couple. Never got the chance to start a family. The fact we never got to share our love with the world." 

 

 

 

_I miss your bloodstained lips, Harry._

 

 

_I love you, Harry._

 

 

***************************************************************************

someone call the tear brigade. why do i do this to myself.

 

bye. 


End file.
